Lots of things can be scary to children -- loud thunder, the dark, barking dogs, clowns. Young children are just starting to learn about the world. So they do not understand much. They often feel small and not very safe. Things can be scary when you do not understand them, even things that are not real -- like monsters or bad dreams.

Parents can get upset, too, when their children are afraid. Fears seem "babyish." Parents often worry that fears will hold their children back from doing things, sleeping well, and making friends.

It can help to remember that fears are normal in childhood ... and fears do not go away easily. Most children outgrow fears as they learn more about the world and find ways to manage their feelings. You can help your child feel safer and stronger by your patience and your love.

Fears are a normal part of growing up.

Let your child know that many children are afraid of things -- even if they do not show it.

Try to remember when you were scared as a child. That can help you know how important your comfort is to your child. And you can trust that some day, your child will feel stronger, too.

Listen with care when your child tells you what he or she is afraid of. Do not tease. Do not say, "There is nothing to be afraid of." Fears are real to children.

Children need your caring help until they get over their fear.

Try not to force your child to do something that is scary. Forcing can make children even more afraid.

You might say something like, "I know that is scary for you. Hold my hand. I will help you feel safe."

It is ok to stay away from something that can scare your child. For example,

• Cross the street to get away from a barking dog.
• Do not let your child watch scary TV shows.

You can say something like, "Maybe you can do it another day." Then your child knows you understand this is hard.

Give your child things to do to help with the fear.

• Let your child turn on a nightlight or flashlight. Then your child can make the room not so dark and not so scary.
• In a storm, your child may want to yell "Boom!" or bang on pots when you hear thunder.
• Let your child turn on the vacuum cleaner to be in charge of the noise.
• Ask your child to turn off a tv show that is scary. Children can feel powerful when they turn it off.

Your child needs your help to learn what is real and what is pretend. You can say something like, "I understand that is scary for you, but monsters are not real." Many children need to hear again and again that monsters are not real.

There are many books that help children with fears.

• Your child may be able to hear about something scary, if it is in a book -- and if you are nearby.
• Talk about what is not real in the book.
• Try not to make your voice scary when you read. That may make your child afraid.

Play helps children work on their fears.

When children play about something, they are in charge. Then they do not feel so small, helpless, and scared.

Children may play about the same thing over and over. Each time they play about something, they understand it a little bit better. And they get a little bit stronger ... and less afraid.

Children may want to draw a picture about a monster or dream that scared them.

Remember that even playing or drawing about something can be too scary for some children.

When children play about monsters or superheroes, their play can get wild. That is because they are scared. They need an adult to stop them and help them calm down.

Getting over fears can take a lot of time. But if fears hold your child back from playing or making friends, you may want to ask your child's teacher or a doctor.